Hi, I'm Demi, I'm 23. I come on here to ramble about my latest thoughts on life and what I'm getting up to in mine.

Friday 13 September 2019

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

So it was my birthday this week...the big 24!

Now, I am someone who still gets excited for their birthday, but no not this year. I don't know what came over me.

I genuinely felt sad.

All I kept thinking was, "it doesn't feel like my birthday" and it all just felt a bit meh.

I still felt the love by all of my family and friends undoubtedly. Maybe it's true what people say, as you get older, it is just another number. Not exciting at all.

Secretly hoping it's just this year.

I did have a good birthday, but everything surrounding it and during some parts of the day it just felt like a normal day, which I didn't like.

I sound so miserable, I did smile and have fun, honest!



I spent my birthday in Torquay and it was so nice, I just ruined it by crying for no reason, something I like to do a lot apparently, getting all emotional and overwhelmed. My poor boyfriend.
We'd booked a posh restaurant for my birthday, I ended up having a meltdown and we ended up going to a reggae and rum bar to eat burgers and they were amazing!



Maybe it was being away for my birthday that put me on edge, I have no idea. Being a girl is confusing sometimes. Bloody hormones.

Anyway here's to 24, cheers!

Demi x


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Friday 31 May 2019

MAY

So...May absolutely flew by!
What a busy month...2 birthdays and a hen do, how exciting!

I started off the month by celebrating my sisters 19th birthday. My plan was to surprise her with climbing the O2, not remembering if she was ok with heights or not, I'd booked it anyway.  Oops.

It started off as just me and her, then my mum mentioned that she really wanted to do it so then it was the three of us. Then my sister not knowing any of this was happening had said she was going to look at doing it with her girlfriend, so I was like we'll invite her too and she can add to the surprise too, so the whole idea went really well. We had a great day, eating, drinking and having a laugh. That climb though is not as easy as it looks.
We were so lucky with the weather, you could see for miles, so that was a bonus.




The next birthday was my boyfriend's, and we went to Alton Towers, which is a massive theme park. I'd never been before and neither had he, so it was nice that we could experience something new together. It's about a 3-4 hour car journey for us. So we decided to go up the night before the day  we'd actually booked our tickets for, so that we didn't have to do that long journey in the morning, meaning we would of had to have left at about 6am..no thank you. So we just booked a hotel near to the park, so we could just drive over in the morning.
So whilst we were there we stayed on site in one of their little lodges, The Enchanted Forest/Village to be exact, which was really cute.

I think we must have picked the perfect time of year to go, we literally had to queue for nothing which was amazing! It's always the fear for me that you're going to waste half of your day queueing,but we didn't and we got to go on each ride about 3 times which I thought was really good.  It was really nice to just be us, and enjoy each others company.

We ate in their Rollercoaster Restaurant, which when James had said he'd booked it for dinner I was like, really? Thinking it would be really gimmicky and overloaded with kids, and it'd be loud and way too much for me. However it was actually pretty cool, we got there at about 5 because we were so hungry and I think we timed it perfectly as it was pretty quiet and we got our food really quickly, and I was actually really impressed. Considering the food comes down on rollercoaster tracks on like a little cart thing it was pretty good.
Also I have never done so much walking in my life, Alton Towers is MASSIVE. My legs actually gave up and I did much to James's amusement,fall over and proceeded to cry because I'm a child.



Finally it was part one of my besties hen do, its getting very real now! Only a few months to go. So she held a what I would call a family friendly hen do.
It was lovely, it was a Gin and Tonic themed Afternoon Tea. Lush.
It was held at a place called Mad Hatters which is Alice in Wonderland themed, which is so cute. I've been a few times before and they just do the most amazing food and flavoured teas, Strawberries and Cream being a personal favourite.
I had such a nice time, and it has just made me even more excited for the big day.



Happy times!

Thank you for reading :) 

Demi x


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Tuesday 7 May 2019

I Just Don't Care


" I wish I was more like you, you're just so calm"

The truth is I just don't care enough to invest any emotion and waste my time. Why should I? I often think many people tend to make a mountain out of a molehill and quite frankly, it's often not necessary.

I get this trait from my Dad.

People always ask why/how I can be like this, I don't know I just am.

I think it's a good way to approach things in life. Sometimes I do wonder, should I be more annoyed at this or that? Especially when someone else is, and I'm just there like..so? I think if there's nothing you can do about said situation then just leave it alone, I know this can sometimes be easier said than done, but otherwise it's just pointless in my opinion, and creates drama that you just don't need in your life.

I remember when I was learning to drive and my instructor said to me " Do you ever get angry?" I was like yeah sometimes, and she just couldn't ever imagine it and wanted me to swear and shout if I got something wrong but I never did and she just couldn't get over it haha. 

I got asked what/ if anything annoyed me at work by my manager and I couldn't really think of much, I'm just so easy going and if you tell me to do something in a new way or that something's changed, I'm like ok cool, lets crack on, she was just like , I don't know how you do it.

I don't know either sometimes and I'm sure some people get frustrated with me for not having a bigger reaction to things and just being so blase, I just can't help it, I'm sorry!

I don't know if it is just part of my personality of being an introvert...

Are there any traits you have that you like about yourself and pride yourself upon? 

Demi x
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Wednesday 24 April 2019

Change

Change can be good.
It can be the making of you, to change an element in your daily grind of life, but what one? 

I have a friend who has had on going battles with anxiety, unemployment, low confidence for years, and its taken a long time but she is in such a good place now, I actually feel inspired. She is living proof that no matter what, you can and you will come out stronger the other side. Despite her troubles, she has managed to move away from friends and family and take on a multitude of new challenges.

What I'm trying to say is, that where you are now, is not your be all and end all. Whether that is your job, where you live or something else. Things can change, if you want them to. 
I talk about stepping out of your comfort zone in a previous post 
I personally get so attached to things without even realising. I know I'm not alone in thinking that when we have a bad day at work, we want to quit, but can I actually imagine that? Not really. Jobs I have left in the past have been because I needed to, but if I hadn't, I could definitely still be in them. 

Just because you leave somewhere in your life, it doesn't always mean it's gone forever. I look at people who just up and leave and think how are you doing that?! People who go from event to event without thinking twice. Crazy fools.

The friend I mentioned at the start, I recently met up with and for once I thought maybe I could change in the future and it's not bad at all. 

Basically I think I have some attachment issues.
Shhhh.

Demi x
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Tuesday 16 April 2019

4 Guilty Pleasures

Guilty Pleasure; Something you shouldn't like, but like anyway.

One of the many descriptions of Guilty Pleasure.

We all know what it means and we all have them whether we openly admit it or not...

I'm going to share a few of mine with you today, and then you can share yours and we can all be weird together, lovely.

1. I love my feet being tickled, seriously I do. I know loads of you will be squirming at the thought of it and think I'm absolutely crazy, but I just can't get enough of it. If I could have them tickled every night I would but I don't think you can actually force a person *James* to do such a thing. 

2. Watching kids cartoons in the early morning instead of the news or breakfast shows. I don't need that seriousness first thing in the morning, granted, I do watch it occasionally but quite often Peppa Pig will do just fine thank you.

3. Kids dinners. Not all the time because I am actually an adult. A beige dinner as it is often referred to. The criteria being a potato option such as Smiley Faces, Waffles or Chips, a sauce option such as Beans or Spaghetti Hoops and the big finale something along the lines of a Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummer or a Birds Eye Fish Finger. It's just such a comfort for me and I love it.

4. Having a 'naughty' lunch like a McDonald's or KFC, not telling mainly my boyfriend but this can apply to anyone really, and then getting away with having a takeaway for dinner too. Or having doughnuts/chocolate. Then be presented with more when I get in. Hehe. 

There may be a couple more but I think that will do nicely...

Would be interested to know yours...

Demi x
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Monday 8 April 2019

This part of Growing Up

I don't mean Growing Up in the sense of maturing, because I definitely still have my immature moments..ahem, moving on.

I mean losing your friends. The accessibility of your friends in particular. At school you saw them everyday, every single day. Now I'm lucky if I see them once every two months, such a contrast. We are all still the best of friends and nothing changes our friendship, but I often miss how it was.

The sleepovers every other weekend, the trips to the beach or park pretty much everyday in the summer holidays, oh how I miss you summer holidays. If you still have them now and you're reading this, make the most of them.  

It was just so easy. 

Now it is a full on military mission of navigating through however many sets of work rotas to come up with a single day or even morning or afternoon. I appreciate those times so much now as we don't get them as often as we like. It cannot be helped though, this is just life and this is what happens. 

I'm lucky in the sense that my friends don't live a million miles away and are still relativity close by. Please don't any of you ever move to Australia.
Nottingham is far enough.

This is just the beginning  though, god knows what'll happen when/if  we have kids, get married, new jobs and our lives progress.

Although you can be near and far I know I can always count on you.
We've been through it all together, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side.

Pizza will always be our passion, drinking sessions, pretending to be lesbians so creepy guys don't hit on us, and watching Friends on repeat.

Its true love.

Demi x
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Saturday 30 March 2019

My favourite things to do on a day off

 I'm sure you all do to but since having a full time job I appreciate my days off SO much. I actually feel like its a mini holiday crammed into one day, ok that might seem a bit dramatic but it's true. 

Aside from the mundane, everyday chores we do, like cleaning, washing, booking appointments etc, alongside working through the week, we still have to do them on our days off, that's just life. However, personally I feel you don't have that time pressure of thinking " Oh I have to get this done before I go to work" or " oh I haven't got time to do that before I go to work". 

You get my drift.
You can take your time, I am just speaking for myself here when I say all of this, as of course everyone's day to day is different. Hats off to everyone living by themselves, it can be tough to keep on top of, and I only live in a one bed flat with my other half, so I have someone to help out and tag team it. But when you both can't be bothered, that's another story.

However there are a number of other things I like to do on my days off at home, if poss.

1. Have a lay in and not feel guilty about it. Then get up and stay in my pyjamas, watch TV,  scroll through the socials, tea in bed, chocolate for breakfast. Just taking my time. This is sometimes something I struggle with as I'm one of those people who like to just get up and get on with the day and find it hard to just do nothing. If I sleep in until 9:30-10:00 that's a lay in for me, I'm usually up before, much to my boyfriend's horror, who could easily sleep until at least 11:30. I just can't do it. 

2. Have a bath and pamper myself. Quite often in the week it's just a quick shower when I get in, before dinner, after dinner whenever.  More bubbles the better. I like to read in the bath and find that relaxing, however I often end up on my phone, must stop with that, such a distraction.

3. Seeing friends and family. This can be very hit and miss depending on what everyone does for work. Currently having to plan seeing friends in about 3 weeks time, oh life you pain in the bum. But if you can make a date..do it. Makes a nice change from seeing the same faces/surroundings all the time. 

4. Sounds boring but, just be. Just sit and do nothing.

 I think for me it all boils down to not having time restraints and being able to do what you want when you want. Taking the extra time to make a nice lunch as opposed to having a quick one at work, being able to let my hair dry naturally, paint my toenails, let my washing just go on the background. 

The list is endless. 

Is there anything specific you wait until your day off to do? 

Demi
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Friday 22 March 2019

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A question you get asked consistently as a child, and you change the answer every time you're asked. This is still me, I have no bloody idea. 
It can't just be me can it?

I talk to some people who have their whole life planned out from 18 years old, I'm like how?! I mean if you can do it, and you're committed then don't let me stop you. Where was all this inspiration when I was 18?

There are so many new opportunities arising all the time. I can't keep up with it so how am I meant to pick?! Obviously I have some certain interests, and I know what I don't want to do, but I still find it difficult. I know I'm not alone, I have a lot of friends in the same boat, and my parents too. Maybe it is because I had no one to look up to who has had a successful career, therefore for the environment I've grown up in, that's the norm, to flit between jobs, create a steady income and support yourself and or family, and be happy.  I'm not saying I have to/want to stick to that necessarily, but if its good enough for the most of us then why not do that. 

By all means if you have a goal, then you do everything you can to pursue that. I don't and perhaps having a full tme job, having a roof over my head and paying the bills is whats getting me by then so be it. Mum and Dad I'm so grateful I've been taught to be humble, pay my own way, ask for help if I need it, be grateful for things and to try my best and to not give up. I hope you are proud of me in whatever direction life takes me. 

Demi 
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Monday 18 March 2019

Popping That Bubble

We all know where our bubble starts and ends, it's just how we feel about popping that bubble, and if you hadn't guessed by now, by bubble, I mean comfort zone. Something we all battle with or have done, more maybe than others but its there. It can be scary, yet, could lead to something you couldn't believe would happen if you hadn't of just gone for it. 

For me it is a constant battle. I can feel brave for about 20 seconds and then back out and 9 times out of 10 stick with what I know, this could be anything from what I order in a restaurant, although I think I have got a lot more ambitious on that front, to thinking yeah I'll do that long 3 hour drive that I've never done before and just jump in the car with other people and just drive...I think not. Whereas there are people I know who will do just that no problem, and this is where the size of different peoples bubbles come in to play. 

It can be good to pop the bubble, but its the fear that holds us back, the what ifs? The what ifs can be good though, its just taking that risk. Sometimes it takes someone else to push you and instil that confidence in you for you to think, why not? But getting to that conclusion yourself is often hard. You can be perfectly happy doing the same things day in and day out,don't get me wrong. However even if its the slightest adjustment and you inch yourself slowly towards a new challenge, it counts. It could be one thing you do in your whole life, or you could never want change, some people thrive on it and some people love knowing what they know, liking what they like and thats all they need. 

It can be long term decisions like taking the plunge to start a new career from something its all you've ever known or a now or never situation. Everyone is different, some people need the push, I know I often do, or I can psych myself up, do something crazy (like cook?!) and shock everyone, myself included. 

Its ongoing.

Its ok to pop the bubble and to not, don't ever let anyone, or anything pressure you to make choices you are not ok with.

Pop! 

Demi
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Thursday 14 March 2019

Why I Love Brighton

Brighton is an English seaside resort town, only about an hour or so away from London.
Now I've been to Brighton in many different weathers, it's in England so you can imagine the weather most of the time..however when the sun is shining and it's not too windy, it's my favourite place to be, you just cannot beat a Brighton sunset..just beautiful.



I have never been anywhere that hosts so many different, quirky and independent businesses aside from your main high street shops and restaurants. I love wondering through the cobbled streets of The Lanes and seeing what new places I can snoop round and try out.
There is so much to do all the time, it is a very current place yet still with its traditional values which for me is a perfect mix when visiting somewhere. It's a vibrant, fun and relaxing place to be. As a getaway for a few days it's a great place to start especially if what I have described is your sort of thing. 
Everything is mostly within walking distance which is a bonus.

Also some of the B&Bs I have stayed at are just brilliant, so cosy yet modern and sophisticated. I've never had a disappointing stay anywhere, just do your research, there is 100% something/somewhere for everyone.
I'd recommend it for anyone, either by yourself, with your partner, a group of friends, family..it caters for all.
An all rounder and that's why I love it.
Have you been?
Demi 
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Monday 4 March 2019

Feeling Stupid.

Hello everyone,

I want to talk about 'feeling stupid' .

This is quite often something I feel I can be viewed as and often the reason I keep quiet and don't voice my opinion. Which is silly. This is because I never feel like I know enough about subjects to contribute to a conversation, so just politely nod along and hope I don't get asked my thoughts.

I did ok at school, and very well at college getting top marks , so there is something in there, I've proved it!
However since then, I feel like because I'm not learning anything particular, a certain subject for example, I just don't know anything anymore.

This is something that has has been on my mind for a very long time now, and I feel a constant pressure from society I guess that I need to study something new to show my intellect and that I do know about the world and what's going on.

I feel like sometimes that when I'm around certain groups of people for example people that are older than me, that I'm just dumb and don't know about certain things going on in the world that I should. Politics, climate change, conflicting countries, I could go on...

What should I know at this age? Everyone comes from a different background and what you know someone else may have never heard of, it's swings and roundabouts.

I know I have other strengths and that's what makes me, me.

My stupidity can be a source of entertainment to others I know, you can all pipe down.

It's not a competition, who knows more than who?
If I don't get it, show me or explain it to me, it can make me feel very small and patronised.
I guess I miss learning, and will just have to accept I'm not the sharpest tool in
the box academically, but lets face it...

No one likes a know-it-all.

Demi x

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