What do you want to be when you grow up?

A question you get asked consistently as a child, and you change the answer every time you're asked. This is still me, I have no bloody idea. 

It can't just be me can it?

I talk to some people who have their whole life planned out from 18 years old, I'm like how?! I mean if you can do it, and you're committed then don't let me stop you. Where was all this inspiration when I was 18?

There are so many new opportunities arising all the time. I can't keep up with it so how am I meant to pick?! Obviously I have some certain interests, and I know what I don't want to do, but I still find it difficult. I know I'm not alone, I have a lot of friends in the same boat, and my parents too. Maybe it is because I had no one to look up to who has had a successful career, therefore for the environment I've grown up in, that's the norm, to flit between jobs, create a steady income and support yourself and or family, and be happy.  I'm not saying I have to/want to stick to that necessarily, but if its good enough for the most of us then why not do that. 

By all means if you have a goal, then you do everything you can to pursue that. I don't and perhaps having a full tme job, having a roof over my head and paying the bills is whats getting me by then so be it. Mum and Dad I'm so grateful I've been taught to be humble, pay my own way, ask for help if I need it, be grateful for things and to try my best and to not give up. I hope you are proud of me in whatever direction life takes me. 

Demi 

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Popping That Bubble

We all know where our bubble starts and ends, it's just how we feel about popping that bubble, and if you hadn't guessed by now, by bubble, I mean comfort zone. Something we all battle with or have done, more maybe than others but its there. It can be scary, yet, could lead to something you couldn't believe would happen if you hadn't of just gone for it. 

For me it is a constant battle. I can feel brave for about 20 seconds and then back out and 9 times out of 10 stick with what I know, this could be anything from what I order in a restaurant, although I think I have got a lot more ambitious on that front, to thinking yeah I'll do that long 3 hour drive that I've never done before and just jump in the car with other people and just drive...I think not. Whereas there are people I know who will do just that no problem, and this is where the size of different peoples bubbles come in to play. 

It can be good to pop the bubble, but its the fear that holds us back, the what ifs? The what ifs can be good though, its just taking that risk. Sometimes it takes someone else to push you and instil that confidence in you for you to think, why not? But getting to that conclusion yourself is often hard. You can be perfectly happy doing the same things day in and day out,don't get me wrong. However even if its the slightest adjustment and you inch yourself slowly towards a new challenge, it counts. It could be one thing you do in your whole life, or you could never want change, some people thrive on it and some people love knowing what they know, liking what they like and thats all they need. 

It can be long term decisions like taking the plunge to start a new career from something its all you've ever known or a now or never situation. Everyone is different, some people need the push, I know I often do, or I can psych myself up, do something crazy (like cook?!) and shock everyone, myself included. 

Its ongoing.

Its ok to pop the bubble and to not, don't ever let anyone, or anything pressure you to make choices you are not ok with.

Pop! 

Demi

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Why I Love Brighton

Brighton is an English seaside resort town, only about an hour or so away from London.

Now I've been to Brighton in many different weathers, it's in England so you can imagine the weather most of the time..however when the sun is shining and it's not too windy, it's my favourite place to be, you just cannot beat a Brighton sunset..just beautiful.

I have never been anywhere that hosts so many different, quirky and independent businesses aside from your main high street shops and restaurants. I love wondering through the cobbled streets of The Lanes and seeing what new places I can snoop round and try out.

There is so much to do all the time, it is a very current place yet still with its traditional values which for me is a perfect mix when visiting somewhere. It's a vibrant, fun and relaxing place to be. As a getaway for a few days it's a great place to start especially if what I have described is your sort of thing. 

Everything is mostly within walking distance which is a bonus.

Also some of the B&Bs I have stayed at are just brilliant, so cosy yet modern and sophisticated. I've never had a disappointing stay anywhere, just do your research, there is 100% something/somewhere for everyone.

I'd recommend it for anyone, either by yourself, with your partner, a group of friends, family..it caters for all.

An all rounder and that's why I love it.

Have you been?

Demi 

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Feeling Stupid.

Hello everyone,

I want to talk about 'feeling stupid' .

This is quite often something I feel I can be viewed as and often the reason I keep quiet and don't voice my opinion. Which is silly. This is because I never feel like I know enough about subjects to contribute to a conversation, so just politely nod along and hope I don't get asked my thoughts.

I did ok at school, and very well at college getting top marks , so there is something in there, I've proved it!
However since then, I feel like because I'm not learning anything particular, a certain subject for example, I just don't know anything anymore.

This is something that has has been on my mind for a very long time now, and I feel a constant pressure from society I guess that I need to study something new to show my intellect and that I do know about the world and what's going on.

I feel like sometimes that when I'm around certain groups of people for example people that are older than me, that I'm just dumb and don't know about certain things going on in the world that I should. Politics, climate change, conflicting countries, I could go on...

What should I know at this age? Everyone comes from a different background and what you know someone else may have never heard of, it's swings and roundabouts.

I know I have other strengths and that's what makes me, me.

My stupidity can be a source of entertainment to others I know, you can all pipe down.

It's not a competition, who knows more than who?
If I don't get it, show me or explain it to me, it can make me feel very small and patronised.
I guess I miss learning, and will just have to accept I'm not the sharpest tool in
the box academically, but lets face it...

No one likes a know-it-all.

Demi x

A few days away in Wiltshire with James and his family :)

On Sunday the 9th August my boyfriend James and I along with James' mum, went up to Steeple Ashton in Wiltshire to visit their family. It normally takes about 3-4 hours to get there by car, but on this occasion it took 5 hours (poor James' mum) we only stopped off for about half an hour on the way there for something to eat and a toilet break!

We arrived at about 3 and were greeted by James' Grandad and cackling laugh from his Auntie Deb inside... we could hear her before we even saw her haha. 

Not long after we arrived and had sorted out our bags and duvets and pillows, we enjoyed a lovely Pork Roast Dinner, it was just what we needed after the long journey.

That evening James and I were babysitting James' 2 and half year old cousin Grace. The two older cousins were not there unfortunately,so I was unable to meet them.

Toddlers are energetic! We did bring sweets round, but decided that she was hyper enough so kept them for ourselves, hehe. It was so much fun spending time with Grace, she kept us entertained right up until her parents returned, and then went off to bed with no fuss.

The next day we (me,James,James' Grandad and Mum) all went for lunch at a pub called The Brewery Inn in Seend, Cleeve, in Wiltshire. It was a small pub, as are all the pubs around there, small but filled with local friendly people who create a welcoming atmosphere. I had a lovely lasagne, it was quite a varied menu considering it was quite a small place. After we'd filled our bellies we drove to Caen Hill Locks and had a little walk around, I'd never actually been to any Locks so was quite intrigued as to what happened with the all the boats they had there, definitely don't think I could hack living on a boat. 

Later on in the evening James and I went for a walk around the local area by his Grandads house as James wanted show me around. After a short walk we went back for something to eat. Once we'd eaten we went back out as James suggested catching the sunset,and we did which was really lovely. We finished the night with a few drinks at the local pub. 

The area James' Grandad lives in is really peaceful and calm. It's one of those village areas where everyone knows each other. Everyone we met were so welcoming and friendly. I felt like I'd stepped into Emmerdale haha, minus the drama.

It was so nice to get away from everything for a few days, and spend some time together.

Thanks for reading,

Demi x

Us being cute.

Pretty countryside.

Don't need to explain...

At Caen Hill Locks.

Pretty sun setting.

A Day in my Life - 05.08.2015

I often think about doing a day in the life post but always think that it won't be interesting and it's not worth writing about, but I thought I'd do one this week as I've had a relatively productive day... although they are not massive tasks, I got done what I needed to and that's always good.

First things first, I went for my run as part of the Couch to 5K programme. I am on week 2 after successfully completing week 1 wahooooooo! So this means the time you run for has slightly increased which makes it more difficult, but I managed it. The overall aim is to work your way up to running 5K comfortably and I'm determined to complete it, it goes on for 9 weeks I believe, providing I keep up with it I should be a little bit fitter for my holiday.

After my run I went into town with my Sister and met my boyfriend too as he was already there, and we all had lunch together at a Wetherspoons. I tried to go for something big as we didn't have much in for dinner, so needed something to fill me up and it's worked, still not that hungry and I last ate about 6 hours ago. The actual reason for going into town was to get my dads birthday present as it's his birthday tomorrow and we'd only got cards so far.. and we still were not very successful - sorry Dad! Hopefully you enjoy your meal and aren't too down about the lack of presents your 'extremely thoughtful' daughters have got you...

Once I got in from town, I sorted through all of my emails- they just mount up so quickly! I feel much better now that they are all cleared and my inbox says 0.

One very important email I received was from GoThinkBig and it was giving me the opportunity to apply for work experience at a well known magazine which is something I've been looking for,for so long, so I was really happy about that and spent ages on my application so am keeping everything crossed than I get accepted for it. Wish me luck!

Just thought I'd try something different today, I hope you don't mind,

Thanks for reading,

Demi x

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Thoughts lately...

What have you been up to people ask? Work is my answer, work work and more work.

I work in a clothes shop,which is currently holding it's biggest sale ever. It has been extremely busy and everyone has been non-stop. The queues on the first two days were longer than I have ever seen them and I have been working there over a year...they were worse than Christmas! It's like people had never seen clothes before, stupidly busy. So everyone has been helping out putting in extra hours. Unfortunately head office have cut lots of hours,which obviously isn't good for anyone. My contracted hours have still remained the same,but I rely on the extra hours a lot and won't have half as much overtime now. So now, I think it's time for me to start looking for a new job...

Soon I have my driving test coming up and I am so so desperate to pass! This will be my 3rd attempt. In my lessons I am fine, and the lesson you have before the test I'm fine, it's just the test itself I've not been as good,hence the fails. Me and my instructor may actually have a full on crying session this time round with either me passing or failing. I feel like I have been learning forever and to fail and do it again, and again and now a third time is rather frustrating,but you have got to keep at it. I am so used to my instructor that when someone else is there instead of her I think I freak out a little bit,because I haven't got her reassurance. So she has suggested taking a mock test (eeeek) or having my boyfriend or someone sit in on my lessons so that I get used to someone else being there, I think I prefer the second option. Also my instructor has suggested eating a banana before I take my test, as many of her other learners have and they have passed...I didn't eat one on the other two tests,so on this one I am going to even though I don't really like them, if I do it and pass, it'll be hilarious :')

My holiday is fast approaching,yay!! It's August this weekend,and I go in September, so it really isn't long. It's all paid for, we just need to sort out insurance,how we're getting to and from the airport and I need to get some euros before I spend all my money! If I change it up, I can't spend it. I'm pretty much sorted with clothes, don't need to go too mad shopping as we're only going for a week,and when we get back it's going to be nearing Winter (ish) so I won't be able to wear much of it,so it'd be a waste. I would quite like to get my own suitcase but it's not vital, I'm sure someone has one I can use if I don't get round to buying one.
I've mentioned it before, but I've never been on holiday on my own before (as in no parents) so it's a little daunting trying to sort all this stuff out. My boyfriend is very with it when it comes to this sort of thing, so I know I'm in good hands!  Exciting!!! :)

So those are the things on my mind at the moment,just felt I needed to unload a little bit.

Thanks for reading,
Demi x