It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

So it was my birthday this week...the big 24!

Now, I am someone who still gets excited for their birthday, but no not this year. I don't know what came over me.

I genuinely felt sad.

All I kept thinking was, "it doesn't feel like my birthday" and it all just felt a bit meh.

I still felt the love by all of my family and friends undoubtedly. Maybe it's true what people say, as you get older, it is just another number. Not exciting at all.

Secretly hoping it's just this year.

I did have a good birthday, but everything surrounding it and during some parts of the day it just felt like a normal day, which I didn't like.

I sound so miserable, I did smile and have fun, honest!

I spent my birthday in Torquay and it was so nice, I just ruined it by crying for no reason, something I like to do a lot apparently, getting all emotional and overwhelmed. My poor boyfriend.
We'd booked a posh restaurant for my birthday, I ended up having a meltdown and we ended up going to a reggae and rum bar to eat burgers and they were amazing!

Maybe it was being away for my birthday that put me on edge, I have no idea. Being a girl is confusing sometimes. Bloody hormones.

Anyway here's to 24, cheers!

Demi x

MAY

So...May absolutely flew by!
What a busy month...2 birthdays and a hen do, how exciting!

I started off the month by celebrating my sisters 19th birthday. My plan was to surprise her with climbing the O2, not remembering if she was ok with heights or not, I'd booked it anyway.  Oops.

It started off as just me and her, then my mum mentioned that she really wanted to do it so then it was the three of us. Then my sister not knowing any of this was happening had said she was going to look at doing it with her girlfriend, so I was like we'll invite her too and she can add to the surprise too, so the whole idea went really well. We had a great day, eating, drinking and having a laugh. That climb though is not as easy as it looks.
We were so lucky with the weather, you could see for miles, so that was a bonus.

The next birthday was my boyfriend's, and we went to Alton Towers, which is a massive theme park. I'd never been before and neither had he, so it was nice that we could experience something new together. It's about a 3-4 hour car journey for us. So we decided to go up the night before the day  we'd actually booked our tickets for, so that we didn't have to do that long journey in the morning, meaning we would of had to have left at about 6am..no thank you. So we just booked a hotel near to the park, so we could just drive over in the morning.
So whilst we were there we stayed on site in one of their little lodges, The Enchanted Forest/Village to be exact, which was really cute.

I think we must have picked the perfect time of year to go, we literally had to queue for nothing which was amazing! It's always the fear for me that you're going to waste half of your day queueing,but we didn't and we got to go on each ride about 3 times which I thought was really good.  It was really nice to just be us, and enjoy each others company.

We ate in their Rollercoaster Restaurant, which when James had said he'd booked it for dinner I was like, really? Thinking it would be really gimmicky and overloaded with kids, and it'd be loud and way too much for me. However it was actually pretty cool, we got there at about 5 because we were so hungry and I think we timed it perfectly as it was pretty quiet and we got our food really quickly, and I was actually really impressed. Considering the food comes down on rollercoaster tracks on like a little cart thing it was pretty good.
Also I have never done so much walking in my life, Alton Towers is MASSIVE. My legs actually gave up and I did much to James's amusement,fall over and proceeded to cry because I'm a child.

Finally it was part one of my besties hen do, its getting very real now! Only a few months to go. So she held a what I would call a family friendly hen do.
It was lovely, it was a Gin and Tonic themed Afternoon Tea. Lush.
It was held at a place called Mad Hatters which is Alice in Wonderland themed, which is so cute. I've been a few times before and they just do the most amazing food and flavoured teas, Strawberries and Cream being a personal favourite.
I had such a nice time, and it has just made me even more excited for the big day.

Happy times!

Thank you for reading :) 

Demi x

I Just Don't Care

" I wish I was more like you, you're just so calm"

The truth is I just don't care enough to invest any emotion and waste my time. Why should I? I often think many people tend to make a mountain out of a molehill and quite frankly, it's often not necessary.

I get this trait from my Dad.

People always ask why/how I can be like this, I don't know I just am.

I think it's a good way to approach things in life. Sometimes I do wonder, should I be more annoyed at this or that? Especially when someone else is, and I'm just there like..so? I think if there's nothing you can do about said situation then just leave it alone, I know this can sometimes be easier said than done, but otherwise it's just pointless in my opinion, and creates drama that you just don't need in your life.

I remember when I was learning to drive and my instructor said to me " Do you ever get angry?" I was like yeah sometimes, and she just couldn't ever imagine it and wanted me to swear and shout if I got something wrong but I never did and she just couldn't get over it haha. 

I got asked what/ if anything annoyed me at work by my manager and I couldn't really think of much, I'm just so easy going and if you tell me to do something in a new way or that something's changed, I'm like ok cool, lets crack on, she was just like , I don't know how you do it.

I don't know either sometimes and I'm sure some people get frustrated with me for not having a bigger reaction to things and just being so blase, I just can't help it, I'm sorry!

I don't know if it is just part of my personality of being an introvert...

Are there any traits you have that you like about yourself and pride yourself upon? 

Demi x

Change

Change can be good.

It can be the making of you, to change an element in your daily grind of life, but what one? 

I have a friend who has had on going battles with anxiety, unemployment, low confidence for years, and its taken a long time but she is in such a good place now, I actually feel inspired. She is living proof that no matter what, you can and you will come out stronger the other side. Despite her troubles, she has managed to move away from friends and family and take on a multitude of new challenges.

What I'm trying to say is, that where you are now, is not your be all and end all. Whether that is your job, where you live or something else. Things can change, if you want them to. 

I talk about stepping out of your comfort zone in a previous post 

Popping That Bubble

I personally get so attached to things without even realising. I know I'm not alone in thinking that when we have a bad day at work, we want to quit, but can I actually imagine that? Not really. Jobs I have left in the past have been because I needed to, but if I hadn't, I could definitely still be in them. 

Just because you leave somewhere in your life, it doesn't always mean it's gone forever. I look at people who just up and leave and think how are you doing that?! People who go from event to event without thinking twice. Crazy fools.

The friend I mentioned at the start, I recently met up with and for once I thought maybe I could change in the future and it's not bad at all. 

Basically I think I have some attachment issues.

Shhhh.

Demi x

4 Guilty Pleasures

Guilty Pleasure; Something you shouldn't like, but like anyway.

One of the many descriptions of Guilty Pleasure.

We all know what it means and we all have them whether we openly admit it or not...

I'm going to share a few of mine with you today, and then you can share yours and we can all be weird together, lovely.

1. I love my feet being tickled, seriously I do. I know loads of you will be squirming at the thought of it and think I'm absolutely crazy, but I just can't get enough of it. If I could have them tickled every night I would but I don't think you can actually force a person *James* to do such a thing. 

2. Watching kids cartoons in the early morning instead of the news or breakfast shows. I don't need that seriousness first thing in the morning, granted, I do watch it occasionally but quite often Peppa Pig will do just fine thank you.

3. Kids dinners. Not all the time because I am actually an adult. A beige dinner as it is often referred to. The criteria being a potato option such as Smiley Faces, Waffles or Chips, a sauce option such as Beans or Spaghetti Hoops and the big finale something along the lines of a Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummer or a Birds Eye Fish Finger. It's just such a comfort for me and I love it.

4. Having a 'naughty' lunch like a McDonald's or KFC, not telling mainly my boyfriend but this can apply to anyone really, and then getting away with having a takeaway for dinner too. Or having doughnuts/chocolate. Then be presented with more when I get in. Hehe. 

There may be a couple more but I think that will do nicely...

Would be interested to know yours...

Demi x

This part of Growing Up

I don't mean Growing Up in the sense of maturing, because I definitely still have my immature moments..ahem, moving on.

I mean losing your friends. The accessibility of your friends in particular. At school you saw them everyday, every single day. Now I'm lucky if I see them once every two months, such a contrast. We are all still the best of friends and nothing changes our friendship, but I often miss how it was.

The sleepovers every other weekend, the trips to the beach or park pretty much everyday in the summer holidays, oh how I miss you summer holidays. If you still have them now and you're reading this, make the most of them.  

It was just so easy. 

Now it is a full on military mission of navigating through however many sets of work rotas to come up with a single day or even morning or afternoon. I appreciate those times so much now as we don't get them as often as we like. It cannot be helped though, this is just life and this is what happens. 

I'm lucky in the sense that my friends don't live a million miles away and are still relativity close by. Please don't any of you ever move to Australia.

Nottingham is far enough.

This is just the beginning  though, god knows what'll happen when/if  we have kids, get married, new jobs and our lives progress.

Although you can be near and far I know I can always count on you.

We've been through it all together, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side.

Pizza will always be our passion, drinking sessions, pretending to be lesbians so creepy guys don't hit on us, and watching Friends on repeat.

Its true love.

Demi x

My favourite things to do on a day off

 I'm sure you all do to but since having a full time job I appreciate my days off SO much. I actually feel like its a mini holiday crammed into one day, ok that might seem a bit dramatic but it's true. 

Aside from the mundane, everyday chores we do, like cleaning, washing, booking appointments etc, alongside working through the week, we still have to do them on our days off, that's just life. However, personally I feel you don't have that time pressure of thinking " Oh I have to get this done before I go to work" or " oh I haven't got time to do that before I go to work". 

You get my drift.

You can take your time, I am just speaking for myself here when I say all of this, as of course everyone's day to day is different. Hats off to everyone living by themselves, it can be tough to keep on top of, and I only live in a one bed flat with my other half, so I have someone to help out and tag team it. But when you both can't be bothered, that's another story.

However there are a number of other things I like to do on my days off at home, if poss.

1. Have a lay in and not feel guilty about it. Then get up and stay in my pyjamas, watch TV,  scroll through the socials, tea in bed, chocolate for breakfast. Just taking my time. This is sometimes something I struggle with as I'm one of those people who like to just get up and get on with the day and find it hard to just do nothing. If I sleep in until 9:30-10:00 that's a lay in for me, I'm usually up before, much to my boyfriend's horror, who could easily sleep until at least 11:30. I just can't do it. 

2. Have a bath and pamper myself. Quite often in the week it's just a quick shower when I get in, before dinner, after dinner whenever.  More bubbles the better. I like to read in the bath and find that relaxing, however I often end up on my phone, must stop with that, such a distraction.

3. Seeing friends and family. This can be very hit and miss depending on what everyone does for work. Currently having to plan seeing friends in about 3 weeks time, oh life you pain in the bum. But if you can make a date..do it. Makes a nice change from seeing the same faces/surroundings all the time. 

4. Sounds boring but, just be. Just sit and do nothing.

 I think for me it all boils down to not having time restraints and being able to do what you want when you want. Taking the extra time to make a nice lunch as opposed to having a quick one at work, being able to let my hair dry naturally, paint my toenails, let my washing just go on the background. 

The list is endless. 

Is there anything specific you wait until your day off to do? 

Demi

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